Even Lealer loved that one! LOL:thumbup:
It's the same when you're stupid...
WAR OF 1812 AT WALMART
Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, I took trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians which is always good for some comic relief.
Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
"No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ."
I thought it was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?"
"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to become fun!
"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."
The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.'
"Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.
Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.
Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.
Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!
See you guys at Walmart!!
:o
(https://tinypix.top/i/aejaN)
:thumbup:
(https://tinypix.top/i/aesJA)
LMAO! My grandfather loved watching Bob Ross.
I need to put that on a tshirt! LOLlaughing7
But she's TOO CUTE!!!
(https://tinypix.top/i/qBDAy)
Check out this hilariously funny Student Academy Award winning, animated short film called "The Jockstrap Raiders" created by the talented Mark Nelson! The Jockstrap Raiders is a animated short film about a group of misfits during world war I. It takes place in Leeds, England where our heroes are all excluded from the war due to various abnormalities. Threatened by the invading German Kaiser and his army, they must learn to become a team and overcome their deficiencies in order to save Britain, and the world
Fuck pride Mfckas need to have a #BBW Parade 😻💦🔥stl got some Big fine thanksgiving plate lookn Mfckas
Welcome to the club, babe! LOL
LOL, me thinks you are VERY bored! LOL
In Britain, a squirrel once got its head stuck inside a Halloween mask and ran around terrifying an entire neighborhood.
Looks like something my brother would do...he's black. LMAO
I heard that for the 2nd debate they are just going to meet in the Wal-mart parking lot and fist fight.
Except these two made more sense than the jokers last night
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'
And people wonder why I never married! LMAOshocked003 :hah!:
I wonder how catnip works on humans? I may need some or need to give some to a few other people. LMAOHa! :hah!:
The worst drag race I ever been to
President Trump awakens one Winter morning to discover someone has peed “Impeach Trump” in the snow. He calls the Secret Service to investigate.laughing7
When they return, they tell the President that they have bad news and even worse news. The bad news is that it’s Vice President Pence’s urine. This infuriates the President, who then asks what could be worse than that.
The Secret Service informs them that it’s Melania’s handwriting.