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ShoutBox!

 

Skhilled

2019 Oct 04 18:59:21
Now it is :)
 

Ken

2019 Oct 04 12:10:09
Is it Friday yet???  :o
 

Skhilled

2019 Aug 19 08:08:59
Me been too busy. LOL
 

Ken

2019 Aug 16 11:02:54
TGIF!  :disturbed:

Actually, I don't really care anymore.  laughing7
 

Ken

2019 Aug 11 08:02:18
It's a nice Sunday morning here in T-Ville!  :thumbup:
 

Ken

2019 Jul 25 14:02:41
hahahaha
 

Skhilled

2019 Jul 25 07:22:09
* Skhilled goes to find someone to hump.  :banana:
 

Ken

2019 Jul 24 11:47:22
And just that quick, it's HUMP DAY!!!  shocked003
 

Skhilled

2019 Jul 19 10:03:01
LOL
 

Ken

2019 Jul 19 09:43:28
TGIF!  :thumbup:
Yes, it is that day!

Recent Topics

Author Topic: Joke of the Day!  (Read 8012 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #180 on: August 17, 2019, 04:54:53 PM »
Good one!  :hah!:
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #181 on: August 30, 2019, 04:56:04 PM »
One of my Grandson's posted this on FB... he had to deal with scenes like this when he was dating, including when he started to date his future wife.  :o
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Offline Skhilled

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Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #182 on: August 30, 2019, 10:14:08 PM »
Got a lot of them at my job but now they're pretty nice to me or just avoid me. LOL

Offline Lesmond

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #183 on: September 03, 2019, 02:41:43 PM »
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Harley Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

#########################################

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner.There's plenty; would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"

The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."

#########################################

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green.

Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap.

Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time."

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #184 on: September 03, 2019, 04:04:11 PM »
 laughing7
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #185 on: September 12, 2019, 02:52:49 PM »
Are you freakin' serious?


So, after leaving the drive thru today, my wife took her sandwich out of the bag and we see THIS! Seriously? Oh, not today, not today! I went back to the restaurant, went INSIDE (already fuming), asked to speak to the manager, and then threw the sandwich on the counter. I asked him for an explanation. He looked confused, so I pointed at the writing on the sandwich and demanded that he tells me why someone felt the need to write it on my wife’s sandwich.

He answered, "Because you ordered a BLT with cheese?"

To which I replied, "...Oh.'"
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Offline Skhilled

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Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #186 on: September 13, 2019, 07:23:11 AM »
LMAO! THAT was a good one!!!

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #187 on: September 20, 2019, 11:06:48 AM »
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Offline Skhilled

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Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #188 on: September 22, 2019, 02:47:37 PM »
LMAO!

Offline Skhilled

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Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #189 on: Today at 03:17:10 PM »

Offline Ken (OP)

Re: Joke of the Day!
« Reply #190 on: Today at 03:20:28 PM »
Good one.  laughing7
" If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti